


Not sleeping beauty

by airbear



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Adorable, Canon Disabled Character, Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain, F/M, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Rainer deserves the world, Sharing a Bed, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, You Have Been Warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 10:07:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22848415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/airbear/pseuds/airbear
Summary: Rainer is used to this. Really, she is. But Fitzroy isn't.
Relationships: Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt/Rainer
Comments: 21
Kudos: 157





	Not sleeping beauty

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [when evening falls so hard (i will comfort you)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22274290) by [soliloquize](https://archiveofourown.org/users/soliloquize/pseuds/soliloquize). 



> Hi there! I have chronic illness too that's why I wrote this, if it has any mistakes I'll edit it. I'm always tired lol. So here they are! I had to contribute to the fandom in one way or another, and this is by no means original, but I love these two. Hope you enjoy, and I hope to write more non-disablity centered stuff for them in the future. Thanks :))  
> P.S. I know it says inspired by that work, but like really I'm not original, go check it out its really good (free plug my friend)

Rainer never considered herself a stupid person.  
She was as bright as was possible, if dulled only slightly by being hindered for years because of her condition. She is well aware of her disadvantages, but takes them as challenges rather than barriers.  
She tries not to overdo it, of course, but she is determined to be happy.  
And she has succeeded. Her life is good, and she is happy. 

But now, on a drizzly Tuesday afternoon, in a cozy nook of her room with many soft pillows and blankets, she thinks that maybe she should re evaluate that statement. Alone, she is left to ponder and scream internally at the unfair situation she's been placed in. 

Because no matter how much training you do, how many times you learn coping strategies, there will always be bad days. It's unavoidable, and it is a fact that Rainer resents.  
She'd been alright this morning. A little fatigued, but nothing out of the ordinary for her. It was at about ¾ through the first lesson that her body started to feel very off, as if someone had filled her limbs with sand. Her attention was hardly on the room by the time the bell rang. Her arms, legs, hips and back felt as if they were tearing themselves apart from the inside.

She knew vaguely what was happening, coherent enough to go straight back to her room once class was over. This thought was the only thing that kept her upright whilst the lesson continued, as well as some pain medication which she swallowed immediately after she realized.  
She left in a daze, barely aware of her classmates as they gave her looks of  
sympathy. This wasn't the first time.

She moved slowly through the hustle and bustle of students pouring through the halls. Every second felt as if she was dying. She bordered on passing out from the fatigue. She gripped the arms of her chair as if they were the hands of death itself trying to drop her into the afterlife. 

Faint cries of her name came from down the hallway, but the pain was so loud she didn't attempt to listen.

She doesn't remember arriving at her room, or getting out of her chair, but she must have done it because here she is, 3 hours later. Curled up in her bed. This is the worst flare up she has endured in around 6 months, and the tears that fall from her eyes have a mind of their own. She focuses on her breathing best she can, trying to keep it even, even if it's shallow.  
She has no energy to keep positive today. In fact, she can feel the ability slipping away from her mental grasp like water off a plastic raincoat.  
Her body feels like it is made of lead. She can't lift her head. Her whole body holds a slight tremor, and every inch of herself feels nothing and everything at once. She can't even scream. She can't let anyone know she needs help, that she needs something, anything. So there she lies, quietly crying, as she tries to keep herself sane. 

And then, Rainer wakes up. There is light shining in through her window, so she assumes that sometime last night she had, fortunately, passed out. Her body only feels a little better. She can move again. Only slightly, but it's enough. She uses this new mobility to send some letters to her friends. 

It takes her 30 minutes and some pain medication to write the letter, her body betraying her at every chance it gets, but she does eventually get it finished. She puts down her pen with a shaking hand, smiling as a few tears fall down her cheeks.  
Buckminster, Argo, Friend Firbolg, and Fitzroy as well as the teachers all got the same message via squirrel mail:

Hello!  
I'm very sorry for my absence, but due to personal issues, I cannot attend classes for several days. I hope you understand, and I thank you for your patience.  
Regards,  
Rainer Michelle

Rainer sighs as she finishes writing and duplicating the letter. This is not something new to her. She gives them to a squirrel she animated, and it goes skittering away.

She gets a visitor about one hour later. This is to be expected during a flare up, as her friends always show concern. Their kindness is touching. Her first guest is a quiet Buckminster, bringing her breakfast. The knock startles her from a restless sleep. 

"Hello? Um, who's there?" 

"Rainer? It's me" comes Buckminster's voice from behind the door "can I come in?"

"Sure"

When he enters with a tray piled high with breakfast food, she thanks him profusely, telling him it wasn't necessary as someone knew to help her. But he insisted that he wanted to do something to help personally. 

"First time in a while huh?" Says Buckminster, sitting on a chair next to her bed.

"Yeah" 

"Mmm." Buckminster hums. They sit in comfortable silence as Rainer picks at her food, until he speaks up.

"You know we're all concerned, but Fitzroy is very worried about you. We tried to explain, though I worry he didn't quite get it as we didn't know exactly what to say when he asked about the letter, and if everything was okay." Says Buckminster with a tender smile. "He really cares about you Rainer. It's actually very sweet" 

Rainer begins to blush slightly, picking a small piece of melon off of the tray in front of her and fiddling with it.  
"It kinda is" she mumbles.

"He tried to act with his usual bravado, but he's very bad at it." 

The image makes Rainer giggle. Buckminster smiles and continues.

"He wanted to see you, but kept second guessing himself as he didn't want to invade your personal space. I told him I'd ask you if it was alright." 

Rainer smiles. "Yeah, I think I can spare him a minute."

"Great. I'll let him know" 

He stands, giving Rainer a very gentle squeeze on her hand.  
"Hope this clears up soon."

"Me too Buck"

After a long day of drifting in and out of a vague sleep, taking pain medication and playing with her tiny skeletons, there is a knock at her door. Her heart speeds up slightly. 

"Yes? Is that you, Fitzroy?"

This was the first time he'd be seeing her like this. She suddenly cursed herself for allowing it to happen.

"Yes, um, it is me, Ms. Rainer. May I...come in?" He asks, his anxiety convayed through his voice. 

No time like the present. 

"Sure, come on in. Though I warn you, it might be ugly" she jokes best she can.

The door creaks open, and Fitzroy pops his head in.

"Hello Rainier. Are you alright?" He asks, stepping into the room. 

"Never was. But, if you mean my flare up, I'll be okay soon." 

She laughs softly, a stabbing pain shooting through her chest as she does. It causes her to wince, and Fitz sees it all. He walks slowly towards her, sitting down on the chair Buckminster had occupied earlier that day.  
He fidgets with his hands, obviously looking for something to say, but coming up blank. He opens and closes his mouth several times.  
This makes Rainer giggle again, and he looks up at the sound.  
"Is something funny?" He smiles.

"You look like a fish, Fitz. Its alright, I'm not gonna die over here" 

"Sorry. I-... sorry"

Fitzroy's smile turns sheepish, his eyes flitting over her again and again with a constant worry. 

She realizes this may be due to her current position, as to minimize pain she has curled herself into a ball, except for her left leg, which sticks straight out. She is hugging her pillow. She knows her face is pale and her hair is tangled with sweat. She hasn't moved from the position because she knows it will hurt more than just staying still.  
It is definitely not sleeping beauty whom he has come to visit.

They sit in silence for several moments, before Fitzroy speaks up.

"Rainer, I never knew that...I mean, you told me when we first met, but I never….I never could have imagined….you having to go through this regularly."  
He clears his throat  
"What I mean to say is, I dislike, no, hate seeing people I care about greatly suffer and I-... I wish there was more I could do…" he trails off.

Rainer is touched by his words, though they may be obscured by the fog in her mind. Knowing that he cares about her makes her feel very warm. In a happy way. 

"Fitz, thanks for coming to visit me" she says with a tired but genuine smile. 

"I wish you a painless night, my dear Rainer. I can see you are tired, so I shall visit you again soon" he says, standing up from his seat. 

A pang of sadness flashes through her.  
"No, wait" 

He sits back down.  
"My lady? Is there something you need?" He says, the care in his voice very clear.

"Do you think...you could stay a bit longer? You make me feel...happy" she says. As soon as she says it, she knows that it was a bit too much, but her brain is too tired to dwell on it. It is the truth, and that's all she's got for him right now. 

Fitzroy goes red, and it is visible even beneath his tan skin.  
"I can stay however long you'd like." He breathes out, obviously flustered by the request and subsequent compliment he had received. 

"Cool" she says with a soft smile. 

"Wanna come closer then? It's kinda difficult to talk when you're 6 feet away from the bed" 

Fitzroy nods very quickly, grabbing his chair and scooting it forward so he is at face level. Rainer smiles at him, and inches her hand forward slightly, gesturing for him to take it. He does, very gently as if she were a baby bird he was afraid to crush. 

"Much better" she sighs contentedly, closing her eyes. In truth, she wanted more physical contact than a hand, but she felt as if it would be weird to ask. His strong arms feel so safe...she wonders if she could say something.  
Sometime in the haze, she could have sworn she felt a soft kiss on her forehead, but she thinks nothing of it.

She realizes she must have fallen asleep like that without meaning to, because when she opens her eyes again the room is dark. The second thing she notices is that she's still holding Fitzroy's hand. He has dozed off in the chair, or just closed his eyes. Whatever he does when sleeping. Rainer has never seen before.

Rainer feels a flush of guilt. She didn't mean to make him stay like this the whole night.  
"Fitz?" She says softly, her voice crackling slightly. He stirs, opening his eyes to look at her.  
"Lady Rainer? You're awake?" He says softly 

"Fitz, what time is it? I didn't mean to keep you this long, you should have left" she says 

"Um, at the moment, let's see...it is about 12:45 am." He said, looking at the clock on the wall that was out of her sight. "And don't feel badly about it my lady, it was my choice to stay…" he says, his voice getting more shy. 

"Its late, do you want to 'sleep' here until tomorrow? I say sleep but I have no idea" she says 

"If you wish for me to stay, stay I shall" he says, squeezing her hand. He adjusts his position on the chair, attempting to get comfortable, but Rainer stops him. 

"Fitz, I'm not going to subject you to the chair. There is room for you on the bed, if you're comfortable with that."

"But my lady, that seems unwise. What if I move you and cause you pain? I also don't need as much sleep as humans do, so I can just wait until tomorrow, so..." He babbles, flustered once again by her request.

"Its okay, Fitzroy. I offered. If you're not comfortable, just say no. I have a bed roll in here you can use" she mumbles softly 

"I...no, my lady, I'm quite comfortable." He says. He gently sets down her hand, and stands up from the chair. He walks quietly around the bed, and soon she feels him sinking into the mattress beside her. She does have a only have a double sized bed, so he ends up with his chest pressed against her back. It's warm, and she can feel his heart beating. She sighs contentedly at the warmth, her body's throbbing pain easing slightly as she is afforded this personal heater. 

"You're warm…" she murmurs, snuggling into him as much as she can without pain. She feels his heart speed up slightly. 

She feels a hand on her shoulder, very light, and she knows he's being ginger so as not to hurt her. He begins to relax as they lay there, absentmindedly beginning to softly stroke her shoulder. 

Rainer feels safe, and more at ease than she has in a very long time. 

"Thank you Fitz. I...care about you too…" she mumbles.

He hums, and his heartbeat speeds up a little.

She vaguely realizes that she might be falling in love with this idiot.

She begins to drift asleep once again, this time with his arm around her, and his heartbeat lulling her to a peaceful, calm and contented sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't be afraid to comment I thrive on validation
> 
> Edit: Back after episode 29. Last lines hit different after: "i trust you" "i trust you too Rainier"   
> Just. Gah *chefs kiss*


End file.
